I saw you the other day after a really long exhausting week.
I felt exactly how I thought I would. Excited. Ecstatic. Happy.
You just make me really happy. You don’t even need to do anything but exist and be within my sight for a least a split second. Its so ridiculous I kinda hate myself about it.
But there are only so many things thats making me really happy and I really don’t want to lose it.
Just ride the feeling right?
Impulse and selfishness. Things I feel like I’m already doing yet not
I talked to someone recently about you. Well, it was mostly about me but it was also about you.
It was helpful
Got some shit out and heard few things I needed to hear from someone else
Like being myself and boys “down-dating”
Obviously, the latter wasn’t the best thing to hear
Especially since it made me really realize that I hate it. I’d rather have this. This nothingness than you settling or pitying me. Not just you. Anyone. I don’t want to be with someone who acknowledges they can do better than me even though they are
Because look at me
Anyone with me would be down-dating right?
So yeah. I’m going to be alone forever
But I also want to hold your hand. And maybe wrap my arms around you. And all those cheesy shit people tend to want
But its okay
Because just seeing you is enough
So thank you